[Graveside Chat] Let's Talk about Clowns and 3D

This is a little something that's been on my mind this entire Haunt Season (well not just this one to be honest). It's something that I can't seem to wrap my head around at all, but definitely worth going into a bit more detail about because it's just one of those things. Partly I was reminded of this while watching a recorded airing of the Thrillvania episode of Fright Nights on The Travel Channel.

In this episode they were talking about how they were getting rid of the clown theme in a haunt and replacing it with something more dynamic and interesting. However, what we do see? Fucking clowns.

Apparently they just couldn't come up with anything better for those actors..I won't even get into how 3D is a crutch for lazy haunting most of the time right now. That's another Graveside Chat for another time entirely...though I'm sure it'll be touched upon here too a little bit. Mostly since they're so often paired together for some reason.

So, what exactly am I on about? The Evil Clown 3D house is overdone folks. Put a damn fork in it and move on already, at least as far as dedicating an entire haunt to it goes. I get the fact that people are scared of clowns, they can be quite freaky like our friend Pennywise up there in the lead pic. Then again, that's Tim Curry, not every haunt can get him or someone that's even remotely close to his creepiness...they're out there, just not as many as one would like to believe. Unless of course you've found a creepy clown farm that breeds them...if you have, I want to visit!

Most people just can't do it right it seems when they mix 3D with clowns (more like it turns into liquid shit, but that's splitting hairs). There have been a few occasions where it is done extremely well like Kennywood's Phantom Fright Nights clown house in the past (now replaced with just clowns and no 3D in a scare zone, kudos for that but it's the only thing that's really good there these days) or you go the other way and do it like Universal Orlando's infamous icon, "Jack", from past events.

However, most places it's done extremely poorly, like the Carnival of Superstition at Busch Gardens Tampa's Howl-O-Scream. Why is it that one works and the other doesn't? Well...that's hard to put a finger on to be honest. The scareactors have a lot to do with that, but also direction and setting.

The moment I see 3D and clowns put together it's already got a massive uphill battle on it's hands to interest or impress me. Most of these just aren't done well and the fact that literally hundreds of them exist out there goes to show it's just a lazy move even more so. Why? It's not even remotely original or creative for starters. Oh look, another circus type of attraction gone wrong where the clowns have taken over. Boring! Sure, one could say the same for many themes, but this one really gets me for some reason. That said, some places do try and change things up...

Busch Gardens Tampa for instance, but their house makes little sense with the mash up they've gone with. So, now you're in the complete opposite direction with the whole thing. What does "stepping on a crack" or the whole "pinch of salt" thing going on have to do with anything? There's no real connection to clowns at all. Superstitions and Phobias aren't 100% strong enough for a whole house if it's not done exactly right (as Busch Gardens Williamsburg has proven that with their "13: Your Number's Up" maze which is another that needs to go) and apparently neither are clowns on their own. So why would Tampa clash the two together? I still haven't figured that out.

Many problems do come from the setting as mentioned above and lack of detail because of the 3D effect. There it's being used as a crutch and you just can't go into the crazy details like you can with other things since they won't "pop out" at people or some such. I dunno what the thinking is exactly, but it's not hard to see in the final results. Most 3D areas, clown or otherwise, aren't big on detail usually. Again, not always the case but it seems to be the majority of the time that this pans out in this fashion.

Overall you're dealing with the idea that clowns aren't scary on their own (very not true by the way) and that they need the 3D to be scary, based on the mash up of the two. However, now you're losing out on other things now when that happens. If you go the other way, as Busch Gardens Tampa has done, whatever idea that's there for the theme isn't good enough so let's just add clowns and 3D. So now you've got 3 bad ideas all at once as if just two wasn't good enough, eh? Guess what, both are set ups for a failure. Yes, people will be scared and probably even say they like it, but there's a growing number of us out there who are growing tired of the whole thing. So make up your minds already...and let's move on, shall we?

The actors in these haunts need to be so high energy and into things too. You're typical  scaring just isn't going to work. The problem is that most of these haunts are designed with 3D elements in them, the distraction level is so high and there's so much going on that actors don't try as hard. They don't have to and sometimes are told not to at that. I won't say all of them don't though. Mostly because I've seen it done right by quite a few scare actor out there (and rarely a full haunt, only happened once) but overall a whole maze or haunt just doesn't have the energy of those few to make it work throughout it.

Why? You try finding 20-40 people who can be 120% over the top for 5-7 hours every night and get that into character. It's just not going to happen, not with clowns and not often enough. It takes someone special to pull that kind of nightmare fuel off and not everyone you stick in there is going to be able to do it well. You may think it doesn't matter and many don't, but it does.

However, many haunt directors seem to think this is the case. Sure, stick someone anywhere in a haunt and with some effort, direction and bit of make up...they'll scare folks, most likely. Put them in a clown get up and they'll scare people too, but without needing to do as much because clowns are freaky. Problem is this seems to end up happening too much. Not only is the 3D mess going on, but now you've got scare actors not up to the task in there because someone got in their head "Oh, just put them as a clown, they'll scare people anyway just being dressed that way". Great...uninterested scare actors just there to fill a void when they could be awesome somewhere else. Not a winning combo here!

Now, this doesn't happen everywhere and it's very hard to match up a person and the role they'll be best in, but I have seen this happen all too often. Most of the top haunts we visit don't have this issue...at least not usually. Sometimes they do get lucky and the role is adopted and twisted into the actor's own...but that's not as common as any of us would like to think either. 

Just now while writing this I'm having another thought. There hasn't been a truly scary or even remotely talked about Evil Clown movie in forever. Sure, there was that "fucking clown" in Zombieland but outside of that? I'm thinking that the last really widely known clown movie was Killer Klownz from Outer Space. No matter how great and cheesy it was, that was in 1988 and 25 years ago now.

I guess you could go out on a limb and say that Captain Spaulding in House of 1000 Corpses was more recent, that's still 7 years ago now. Not everyone out there is gonna be as mental or awesome as Sid Haig was either...

In the end, clowns are and can be very scary and 3D can be a great element when deployed in new and exhilarating ways. I have seen some really incredible ones to be honest, like ScareHouse in Pittsburgh. Okay, they do have a clown too, but it's not the entire focus constantly and Creepo is just special, so there. They do not, however, need to be smashed together all the time. It is cheap and easy to implement, but so are lots of other themes out there. So, instead of being sucked into the overly done and cliche idea that clowns and 3D are the way to go because it works so well and is easy, maybe it's time to dig up one of those other ideas and flesh it out some. Not only could it be new territory, but you can be sure your haunt won't be like the hundreds of others out there. Then again, how about clowns without 3D? They can be just as scary without it!

So, where does that leave us? I doubt anyone in the industry is going to read this and go "Yeah! That Kitsune guy is onto something, let's ditch the 3D clowns and do something different!", as much as I wish they would, and not because I've written all this. I just kinda hope some do for the sheer fact of being more creative and original, not falling back on the crutch that this idea has become. Maybe some aspiring haunters out there who are new to the game (or maybe have been around a while even) will and in the end prove me wrong. I'd love nothing more to be honest...

That said, I'm curious as to what anyone else thinks on the matter. By no means am I any true expert on the killer clown phenomenon or 3D houses, I've just seen a lot so if you've got another take on this that I may be overlooking, hit me with it!

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